Stand Up To It!

We have a challenge to bear up under the weight that weighs us down. In fact, life can be hard and can throw at us pretty bad stuff. Many times we are left bare with the things that life throws at us, that we are no party to, nor solicited for or can be blamed for. Life during periods of pain and turmoil like rape, incest, heartbreaks, fatal losses, and long periods of childlessness and joblessness...is termed cruel. Bouts of depression, feelings of regret that can culminate in suicidal thoughts and attempts take their toll on us.
Who will understand? We search deeply and truly wish that our sorrows will fly past us. Try as we may, the stigma and insignia of the pain and hurt won’t just leave. And our resistances continue to plummet in the face of our circumstances. Those times, present the perfect scenarios for us to throw in the towel and succumb to the fiery darts that have pierced our souls. But can we stand up to our misfortunes and misery? Do we have any antidote to the continued pain that continually bears its fangs on us?
Standing up is the answer. And it’s an answer that comes with its fair share of pain and heartaches. Our moments unleash their terror in torrents that make us lose sight of their vulnerability in the face of our resolve. Standing up to our adverse circumstances entails plenty of will and tenacity. This is more so when these are the targets the undesirable aches want to keep out of our reach.
Our will can be strained in the midst of continued exposure to adverse circumstances. This is the reason we have to ensure that we shield our will from the circumstances. In the centre of our crisis situations we have a task to ensure that our will to stand up receives adequate boost from outside the conditions. At those times, we need to get all the help we can to keep up our faith in the reversal of the status. We can only find a way out of our situations if we let our will to stand up to the challenges remain in our focus. Never, should we allow our condition overwhelm us. The more stuff that the state of affairs throw at us the more dogged we need to become in our resolve not to relent or give in.
We can win. And will always win, if we stand up and not despair or become distraught in the face of our adversities. If we realise that we will come off smiling at the end of day, it will do well for us to maintain that composure throughout the road to the reversal of fortunes. No doubt, it is not an easy ride and the route may not easily be discerned. Keep your focus on coming out the victor. That will always keep you going on; no matter how hard it becomes to hold on. Don’t let go, stand up to it and come off better for it.

(Re) Align Your Friendhips

Every day we struggle to keep up with the pressures of the different friendships we have. Whether in the home or at work, we are never getting to grips with our friendships.
How can we know which friendships are helpful and which ones are harmful? What can we do to get our ailing friendships back on track and how can we even maintain them afterwards? Who and what can constitute a friend or friendship? What are the things to look out for in friendships?
With just about everything and anything struggling to get our attentions, our friendships should not add to the list. Friendships are to help us focus and not to look around and be on the edge.
I heard a friend once say friendship is not by force. And really, they should never be. Friendships-whether cherished or not-should always be about something. Finding a common ground for friendships will help keep every friendship in its place. And keep you going on and being upbeat about the friendship.
Sincerely, we need to be able to answer in one sentence questions on why we have the friends we have and why the next person doesn’t fit in with our picture of friendship.
It’s good to know that we are friends with the next person because the person helps us get by on the job. Membership of the Arsenal Fan’s Club or the Design Team or the Green hands can also trigger off friendship bells. Obviously, there has to be a reason for friendship.
What of unconditional love? Well, liking somebody because you are obligated to (due to religious doctrines) does not translate to obligatory friendships. This is because there is no such thing as that. Frienships enjoy different degrees of shaing and exchange moments. And unconditionally loving people does not mean they have to become your friends.
On the job, it is vital to get every friendship into perspective. Let friendships align with the overall corporate objectives of the workplace. Friendships that make us spend long hours outside given tasks can only bring headaches. At the same time friendships that will not allow us do what is officially right, will put our company’s bottom-line into jeopardy. The take here is: realise that the friendships in the workplace exist because of the job and the company’s corporate objectives should never be comprised on the platter of the friendships. Discard friendships that tend to get in-between the corporate objectives of your firm and makes you want to twist things even a little bit.
At home, it is vital to know which set of friendships will bring about peaceful co-existence and unity. Relationships with siblings and parents should all be streamlined for the good of the family unit. Hiding behind the facts and telling half-truths due to friendship inclinations will only spell doom for the unit. It is always good to speak up for friendships that are being trampled upon and friendships that can bring about the needed peace around the home. It is vital to know that the friendships here are more of future ties and so openness becomes inevitable.
On campus, establish friendships along particular lines. Get a prayer buddy for religious affiliations. Get a reading partner for specific courses. And get a lecturer friend for the intricacies of balance and moderation on campus.
I forgot intimacy right?
Intimate friendships should be respectful friendships. They should have respect for the next person and his or her time. And such friendships should allow you to be yourself and be free. You can do a lot by keeping the lines of communication open in this cadre.
Mentorship relationships are rare. But they can be found and should be cherished. Let mentors know your struggles and heartaches. Let them know just how much they are appreciated.