No need to live in doubt

The tough moments of life shake us to our foundations. Because these moments come tailor-made, it looks like no one will ever understand. This sets us up in frenzy. And as we turn every corner, we consciously or otherwise tend to look for solutions. These solutions, we seek never seem to be on time. And so we set ourselves up against the tide, and become forlorn. This is where we become vulnerable and retreat only into our world.

When doubt sets in, it can become a huge struggle to shake it off. For us, the world is as ‘it is’ - always setting us up against ourselves. We refuse to see the world as ‘it should be’. We lose track of our surroundings. We stop dreaming. We refuse to believe. “Whatever will be, will be,” we declare to ourselves.

Doubt set us up to brood over life. We forget that life itself has been designed for ups and downs. And that our down moments don’t have strangle-holds on our up moments. Most times we doubt because we have allowed circumstances and happenstances erode our faith -our self confidence and our God confidence. We try to put the puzzle together and never seem to do it right. We try to get answers from outside sources that are at best ephemeral.

Doubt can set us up to self destruct. We can fall prey to vices such as pornography, stealing, smoking, drinking, sex and the likes. Really, doubt in all of its ramifications is the enemy within. It is the ‘us in us’ that want to stop us from getting all that have been lined up in store for us. Doubt tells us our tomorrow is bleak and that our chances of making it are equally as bleak. Doubt tells us that we need a Godfather to make it. It shouts from the rooftops that life can only get harder. Its ultimate goal is to knock and snuff the life out of us, so it has us where it wants-six feet deep! Yes, that’s how fatal doubt can become if we live in it. Living in doubt and dying in doubt won’t be too surprising eh? God forbid! No way, we can’t let that be the story of our lives.

We have many days with plenty of sunshine outside our moments. We simply can’t continue in our naivety and ruin a good day. We are much more than doubt says. We can speak to the atmosphere-the sun, moon, stars, and galaxies-to brighten up even our darkest days. Surely, God will let them illuminate our soul, and our bodies and our spirit. There’s no need to live in doubt; even for a minute.

Between Love's Respect and Fear's Respect

It all started like a simple gist. After thirty minutes we were still on it. It was about respect; the best way a man could earn it. My first friend, the source of the argument would not relent. He was clear about his stand. For him, a man that is the head of his family, deserved respect. And nobody could argue on that. The problem was his insistence that the respect had to be gotten by instilling fear. He made it clear that by instilling fear, the man could be guaranteed of total respect from his children and wife. Now that was already scary. As I listened further on, he made it clear that the respect sought here was for the benefit of the man only. And he could get that by ensuring that his family remained in perpetual awe of him.

It got my mind back to my early days. Did I respect my father out of fear or out of reverence? Anyway my first friend had insisted that it would require so much work and many extras for respect to be derived out of love!!! Well whatever the extra's were, my mind did want to go there. I was more interested in the end result-the impact of the respect born out of fear-on the children. It was really giving me the creeps but I managed to play the whole of my childhood over in two minutes. Really my father loved me, but was that the reason why i respected him or was it because I was afraid of him? Well, a second friend, tried pointing out some differences between fear as a verb and fear as a verb. I could not really get his analysis straightened in my head. But I knew something was amiss about my friend's theory.

The next day I still could remember the sailent points and questions. Do we really respect our father's or men out of love or out of the fear of what they could do to us. Was the fear of the unknown-the uncertainty of the consequences we may suffer- that made us give up our voice?

Last lines: wouldn't love present us with a respect that is enriching. I mean a respect that would stand the test of time and had nothing to do with being intimidated or bullied? The truth-as I told myself- respect born out of love would sure outlast and outwit any respect based or fear of harm or reprimand. It takes a lot for the male ego to swallow that. We all demand respect in subtle ways. But whether we would go all out -even if it means by intimidating the folks around us to get that- or would rather think up creativenly lovely ways of getting that, is a measure of how much wisdom we have attained. What do you think?