Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Not Just Sex

There is plenty to explore for young men. Their make-up, grooming and awareness give room for plenty of adventure. And for every exploration and adventure there is a prize. It is believed that the prospect of having a woman as a reward of any adventure is fascinating for men.  Thus, it’s no surprise that girls are groomed to be wary of the men around them. They are brought up to believe that the men who come around them have ulterior motives.
The cases of many men in wolf’s skins have done little for men’s reputation. The provable stories of girls who were naive with men, being taken advantage of, have also not enhanced men’s profiles. Violations, rape, incest, unwanted pregnancies...all have the imprints of men; very damning imprints. But will it be right to brand all men as birds of a feather, leopards who will not change their spots and cunning foxes whenever a woman is involved?
It is a hard call; nonetheless, it is also a worthy one - men are not only thinking about sex around women. It is depressing to hear the cliché ‘all men are the same’. That’s a big lie that has been sold to female folk over the years.  Without any advocacy tone, men do have a life outside women and sex and being freaky. Men do have a sense of destiny. And this can make men go the whole hog without any sexual demands. Men do act without any strings attached. They do mean well for women when they mean well.
Playing the numbers game for sexual offences will not do any favours to men, agreed. But there are also plenty of men who genuinely desire to see woman get the best out of life. Men exist who want to be a part of the answers to a woman’s prayer. Definitely they do not want to add to a woman’s tears and anguish at any point. Moments of disappointment in the relationship will occur, but the disappointments will not be along the lines of ‘even you, I never expected this?’
There are few good men we have also heard. But these few good men are directly proportional to the few good women around. That a woman expects every man to ask for sexual gratifications for help received from men does her psyche no good. This takes the shine of a rewarding friendship and adds to the man’s frustrations. Men can be men: responsible and visionary. This is what drives them and makes them want to lay their all.
It is pathetic thinking that all-men-are-no-good. It is very disappointing seeing that women offer themselves as a thank-you gift for all you have done’ to men. Men do derive pleasure from helping out. They do find fulfilment in shaping a woman’s destiny. They would gladly put their resources and manpower to work to see that good is perpetuated in the land.
Men are not animals, they are created beings: to effect and affect change. They do care for women a lot. This should not be misconstrued to mean they are after sex every time. For them, there are many pleasurable things than sexual pleasures: a good name, a life well spent and making heaven. This is true.

It takes more than beauty

Beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder. Oh my! there are many beauties to behold in life. I mean dead gorgeous beautiful damsels that can keep you drooling. The beauty that makes you wonder ‘where on earth did this one appear from?’ is one that always catches our fancy. It is one that can make us tingle and keep us on the edge. Such is this beauty that makes many a young man ask ‘how did I get myself entangled in this?’
There are the hunks too – the tall-dark-and- handsome and so handsome ones. Those with the six-packs can put many a young lady’s desires to test. They turn the heads of all who desire a strong man to be there for them to hold them. But beyond all of the good looks and strong arms is there more to be desired.
Yes! We always want the best and good looking folks to be our buddies, pals, friends, confidant, spouses and ... What of the rest of the ‘fearfully-made‘ and the just okay folks, do they have something in store for us? Can we see things in them that we may never find in the beautiful ones that have been born? Head-to-head, wit-for-wit, heart–to-heart, will they measure up? Despite the seeming face-to-face, curve-for-curve, bicep-for- bicep deficiencies, will they give us any sense of worth?
Beauty, just like riches can be deceitful. All that glitters is not gold. That‘s the reason we may need to pause and ponder when beauty plays on our sensitivities and choices. That beauty is fleeting is a no-brainer. This is because all the nice curves and muscles will eventually turn to flab. All of them ‘pointed things’ and ‘fleshy curves’ will obey gravity’s call sooner or later. When this happens, will we still be turned on by our beauty-clouded minds?
Substance and worth is from within. These can be contained in a beautiful and a just-okay body with or without curves. This should inform most of our choices and preferences. Substance is what is required on the job. Character is needed to build a dream career. Good homes are built on a strong sense of value. Great friendships and relationships outlast good looks.
If we will take a moment and think it through, it takes more than beauty to make it in life. Beauty may get us some favours in the now and may also do us some disservice when it all wears out. Beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder. We can choose to behold beauty in the most unlikely of persons with the most unlikely of looks and still be happy. Joy, fulfilment and pride can still be ours if we will chose substance above beauty. Be assured of this, you will never miss out on life: in this age and at all times.